Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
