KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
