I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
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i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
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Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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