where am i from again
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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