We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
