This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
