Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
