im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
