I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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