i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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