Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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