I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize