Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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