i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
