I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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