His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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