All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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