I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize