so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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