It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize