Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Randomize
