i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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