I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
