we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
