Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
