i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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