Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
