3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
