i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
