Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You have to summon your inner elephant
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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