I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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