we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
