I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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