he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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