i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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