think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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