I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
