Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize