I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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