Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
