Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
