could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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