i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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