So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
A+ Viking dick
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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