oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
