found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
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i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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