If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
