A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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