You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
