I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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