as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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