Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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