We're facebook friends in real life
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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