Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
