Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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