The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
