just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize