so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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