We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
