porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
