I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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