i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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