8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
