She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
